Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Just recovering from the last few weeks dealing with Jim and his burn/wound surgery and hopefully recovery. I mean.... why can't a MAN realize when he is getting worse and seek medical advice.... What started out as a minor burn became so irritated and inflamed and ignored by him that it escalated into a 3rd degree burn requiring surgery and a wound vac....only after I got him to a wound center...
 What started as malignant HBP back in the 70's before we met , was negletcted and resuted in ambo transport to a Baltimore hospital while we were dating
 The Docs were  concerned about his kidney function then but he never followed through on the tests....NOW he has ESRF...and has been on dialysis for 4 years.
  If only,...if only... if only....
  I have now become my Mother who nagged at my Father all the time...Hard headed stubborn MEN who think they know what is best for them which is usually the opposite of what you suggest or what they need.....this is not my Desire ..all the angry words....this is not the way I want to spend my life..this is not  the Army I signed up for....anyone willing to step in and take over is welcomed.....Love is not enough anymore ....I have a lot of resentment for his children, who truly have their own problems for real, for not understanding how hard these last few months have been on our well being...our relationship...our future....