Well, it is official, I am a widow.
I would much prefer to have my husband back when he was vital but I really can't remember when that was..I don't know how else to say it but I am grateful that he is gone.....
The ESRD started 5 years ago. That itself was a life changing event but we re adjusted and he still lived a viable life as a salesman and worked his meetings around his schedule.He couldn't understand why other patients complained so much..
Everyone knows what followed that...the Fall 2 years ago , the long road back from the seizures and PT, ST and OT. At one time he could not sequence events , put things in order, that was his Forte, Math in his head estimating on the spot...BUT he was improving...
That started coming back when the burn happened.. Once again His reluctance to see a Dr about it was an issue ...It is hard to drag a grown man into a car for medical attention...
By the time it was initially seen by his PCP, ( I thought it was Shingles) he referred us to the Beebe wound Care center..
.The story continues with many debridements, , a flap surgery, Pseudomonas infection antibiotics causing C diff becoming chronic with totally un affordable medication available .$1600 for 10 days of oral meds...
My Husband's body wore out waiting for help...God Bless America and thank you Jim, My Dear, for stroking out and not suffering anymore...I love you, I miss You ..but I have missed you for a long long time.
Love the good times with you...I think I always loved you because you made me laugh..everyday.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Post from the day before Jim died
Wednesday the 29th of May...The season officially started over the weekend and the traffic was heavy even thought the weather was chilly.
All's quiet here this morning. Only 1 appointment at the wound center this afternoon at 2. The wound is 80% healed. Once all the slough is removed, they will work on a closure.
The C diff is really the main issue now. I met with the Nurse Practitioner at dialysis yesterday and she administered some vancomycin in his IV. It may have helped as he ate a little dinner last night.
I am also looking into assistance programs for medical help, especially for prescriptions. Over the weekend I spent $500 on pads, depends, and meds...even with insurance part d, We really can't afford that.
I've made some progress with the patio plants and have been trying to get the front started. My 12 year old crew quit on me, so the pool is down, empty and sitting in a big clump on the sand. If i could get a few adults to help, I think we could flatten it and roll it up now that it is dry. Actually, if I had a power washer and some help I could really clean it up and pack it in the bag, but that is just dreaming at this point..
So, the dirt therapy is working except it is extremely tiring for me but better than standing still.
I am going to a luncheon/lecture for caregivers in Milford on the 7th and am hoping to hook up with a support group
I am juggling as fast as I can but I can feel the balls starting to slip.
It is so difficult to be responsible for everything...I know the car needs service but when can I get that done?
My taxes in Baltimore will be due in July, as well as the car insurance here. I need to pay my personal income tax from 2011, and 12.
It has been hard to deal with these ailments with no one coordinator in charge. Dr. Gordon, the plastic surgeon has nothing to do with the C diff. Dr. Sharman, the primary referred us to an infectious disease specialist at Beebe who can't see us until July. The Nurse/P at dialysis can only treat Jim 3 X a week with the vancomycin IV which is the only thing that seems to work for him. The oral medication costs $1600 for a 10 day supply. I almost took him to the ER yesterday just so they would get that department involved sooner.
The AFLAC insurance has been a Godsend, but come August it will be 1 year which is the limit. I am also looking for Medicaid assistance.
So , how is your day so far....
All's quiet here this morning. Only 1 appointment at the wound center this afternoon at 2. The wound is 80% healed. Once all the slough is removed, they will work on a closure.
The C diff is really the main issue now. I met with the Nurse Practitioner at dialysis yesterday and she administered some vancomycin in his IV. It may have helped as he ate a little dinner last night.
I am also looking into assistance programs for medical help, especially for prescriptions. Over the weekend I spent $500 on pads, depends, and meds...even with insurance part d, We really can't afford that.
I've made some progress with the patio plants and have been trying to get the front started. My 12 year old crew quit on me, so the pool is down, empty and sitting in a big clump on the sand. If i could get a few adults to help, I think we could flatten it and roll it up now that it is dry. Actually, if I had a power washer and some help I could really clean it up and pack it in the bag, but that is just dreaming at this point..
So, the dirt therapy is working except it is extremely tiring for me but better than standing still.
I am going to a luncheon/lecture for caregivers in Milford on the 7th and am hoping to hook up with a support group
I am juggling as fast as I can but I can feel the balls starting to slip.
It is so difficult to be responsible for everything...I know the car needs service but when can I get that done?
My taxes in Baltimore will be due in July, as well as the car insurance here. I need to pay my personal income tax from 2011, and 12.
It has been hard to deal with these ailments with no one coordinator in charge. Dr. Gordon, the plastic surgeon has nothing to do with the C diff. Dr. Sharman, the primary referred us to an infectious disease specialist at Beebe who can't see us until July. The Nurse/P at dialysis can only treat Jim 3 X a week with the vancomycin IV which is the only thing that seems to work for him. The oral medication costs $1600 for a 10 day supply. I almost took him to the ER yesterday just so they would get that department involved sooner.
The AFLAC insurance has been a Godsend, but come August it will be 1 year which is the limit. I am also looking for Medicaid assistance.
So , how is your day so far....
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Oh well, I knew it was too good to be true. Gina cannot take the pool because her Mother is afraid for the little kids who are always at her house. Oh well, at least I got it partially drained and ready to empty.and roll up.
I also saw the 4 little kids with the "lawn service" and got them started weeding the front yard. They are coming back tomorrow with a rotor tiller to finish up. They are all very nice and polite, around 12 years old, but are way too disorganized. I tried to give them some direction, but they get so distracted by the smallest thing.
I told them I would pay them $40 for both sides down to the dirt and weeds hauled away and swept up..
In my opinion that is a good deal. The leader is a real hustler but his brother is into riding on the tractor and little else. He may be on his way out of the deal....
Also, the old grill is gone. Rolled it to the curb and 2 men picked it up around 6 last night.
Now hoping that Jim gets interested in the new grill. I hope i didn't waste the money on it,...I wasn't cheap..
I also saw the 4 little kids with the "lawn service" and got them started weeding the front yard. They are coming back tomorrow with a rotor tiller to finish up. They are all very nice and polite, around 12 years old, but are way too disorganized. I tried to give them some direction, but they get so distracted by the smallest thing.
I told them I would pay them $40 for both sides down to the dirt and weeds hauled away and swept up..
In my opinion that is a good deal. The leader is a real hustler but his brother is into riding on the tractor and little else. He may be on his way out of the deal....
Also, the old grill is gone. Rolled it to the curb and 2 men picked it up around 6 last night.
Now hoping that Jim gets interested in the new grill. I hope i didn't waste the money on it,...I wasn't cheap..
Friday, May 17, 2013
Step 1
I think I have some one to take the pool. Gina, who lived with us can use it in her Mother's yard.
Today I am going to start draining it and getting all the parts together.
She seemed really excited about it so I am happy to pass it on to someone who will enjoy it with her family.
One more crisis resolved. Now to find the number about the trailer.
I think I have some one to take the pool. Gina, who lived with us can use it in her Mother's yard.
Today I am going to start draining it and getting all the parts together.
She seemed really excited about it so I am happy to pass it on to someone who will enjoy it with her family.
One more crisis resolved. Now to find the number about the trailer.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Rain and thunderstorms perfect day for me. It is the Saturday after my reunion and I have been ill for most of the week.
I seen to have acquired an upper respiratory infection which is also affecting my sinuses, throat and left eye..
I just dropped Jim off at Dialysis so I have some time for myself. I have been sleeping a lot since I was given a cough syrup with codeine, but i cannot take it during the day time when I have to drive.
I've had no appetite other than cold fruit and beverages with ice, As of yesterday I was still running a temp over 101o but my Doc was looking out for me by not prescribing an antibiotic, therefore protecting me from the Cdif which Jim is still struggling with.
But before I go lie down for a while, I must day that I had a good time at the reunion.. Certainly missed some people who weren't there and surely missed some who were.
I heard one classmate state that this was the best one yet, but the most difficult in recognizing face as they had changed so much.
It was fun to reconnect first on the elementary school level with kids I went all through the system from the 3rd grade on, old friends I had re met when I was with Carl, and new FB friends. I have met through our class website..
I also was grateful for a very frank conversation with a fellow classmate who gave me really good advice about my situation with Jim. It did nor fall on deaf ears.
In looking around my house, I have lots of living things...Plants I have rescued from dying restaurants, one from 30 years ago, a few I've had for 20...I have 3 loving cats inside, and a feral whom I recently started let sleep in the Laundry room.
I am trying to focus on that and not the stench of illness in the other rooms...the Cdif. the wound dressing.
I will try to do this...
I seen to have acquired an upper respiratory infection which is also affecting my sinuses, throat and left eye..
I just dropped Jim off at Dialysis so I have some time for myself. I have been sleeping a lot since I was given a cough syrup with codeine, but i cannot take it during the day time when I have to drive.
I've had no appetite other than cold fruit and beverages with ice, As of yesterday I was still running a temp over 101o but my Doc was looking out for me by not prescribing an antibiotic, therefore protecting me from the Cdif which Jim is still struggling with.
But before I go lie down for a while, I must day that I had a good time at the reunion.. Certainly missed some people who weren't there and surely missed some who were.
I heard one classmate state that this was the best one yet, but the most difficult in recognizing face as they had changed so much.
It was fun to reconnect first on the elementary school level with kids I went all through the system from the 3rd grade on, old friends I had re met when I was with Carl, and new FB friends. I have met through our class website..
I also was grateful for a very frank conversation with a fellow classmate who gave me really good advice about my situation with Jim. It did nor fall on deaf ears.
In looking around my house, I have lots of living things...Plants I have rescued from dying restaurants, one from 30 years ago, a few I've had for 20...I have 3 loving cats inside, and a feral whom I recently started let sleep in the Laundry room.
I am trying to focus on that and not the stench of illness in the other rooms...the Cdif. the wound dressing.
I will try to do this...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)