We just returned from an overnight trip to visit George and Phyllis, 2 of Jim's oldest Friends and now mine as well.
This on the heels of last weekend with Tom and Martha at our house for the weekend, who are likewise closer to Jim than I, even though I have known George and Tommy longer than Jim has from High school.
Everyone is now in his mid 60 's so things have slowed down a bit, Thank God!!.
The 3 men still got falling down drunk up until a few years ago, forgetting that they weren't 30 or even 40 any more. There were many late night " discussions/arguments", forgotten in the morning over coffee and serious hangovers.....Warriors all.... Boys to the end!!
The dynamics have changed dramatically. Jim now has renal failure, and cannot drink .Tom has also had health issues, 2 heart attacks and bypass surgery, obesity and bad legs. George seems to be doing well despite a broken ankle a few years back, and a benign growth that was removed from his colon prior to that.
The ladies have fared better. Phyllis retired from BCBS several years ago and since she and George never had children, she had a long career, accumulating a substantial retirement package.
They purchased a 5th wheel, and a big truck, and now winter in Florida and summer at home.
They made some good investments , even though they are at a low point now, but live quite comfortably on social security and her pension.
Tom and Martha are another story. Martha had one child when she married Tom, and then produced two more. Everyone is grown and gone but not too far away that they don't visit often. Phyllis and George are God parents to all of them.
Tom has made some bad business choices in the past which have followed them through life. He is currently working for a very good friend in Balto, and commutes home to PA on weekends. Yet they have somehow managed to find the resources to suddenly travel a lot, to Upper state NY, Nags head, The Florida Keys and even Hawaii all in the past year,. I must confess I am jealous given our situation in regards to dialysis, health care expenses and such. It doesn't seem fair somehow.
Everyone is coping with aging and retirement in their own way. I feel like we are in Limbo, waiting for Jim to find a kidney and move on. I don't want a 5Th wheel , Retiring in Fla doesn't appeal to me at all, but I would like to enjoy the last years my life, seeing new things and places.
3 comments:
Sounds like a lot of self-reflection is goin' on here. It's interesting how other peoples' lives can help motivate us to make simple yet necessary changes in our own lives.
You should travel more. Do you do cruises? They are supposed to be the biggest bang for your buck, from what I hear. I have a friend who works for Royal Caribbean and he's always sending me these friends and family rates and get so tempted to drop everything and hop on a ship (even though drowning is my worst fear - yes, I can swim, but still..). Anyway, I can pass them along to you if you wanna check 'em out. It's also a great way to do a vacation for a group of friends or family.
I've been trying to convince Gabe to do a family/friends cruise for years but he's not buying it! It's either Vegas or nada!
Thanks for your input here. I tend to get petty and resentful sometimes.It's a trait I inherited from my Mother :-).
I just felt such a disconnect with everyone as Jim was always the catalyst and the life of the party. Remove the alcohol and whatnot, and I had little in common with anyone.
Phyllis has certainly earned her retirement despite George's antics. He stopped working several years before I did and Jim found that acceptable. My status is not.
Martha certainly deserves to have fun after years of struggling. We would have the resources as well if we didn't pay for health insurance, stiffed the hospital and worked under the table.
I tried talking about books, movies, TV shows, and all I got were blank stares. We all love to cook, but after years of catering, Martha is burned out and since Tom isn't home most of the time, she has quit.
Phyllis still is into it,( makes her own hamburger rolls) but is so obsessed with her Black Lab, she can hardly finish a sentence.
I spoke to my former S in law today and she told me about the AARP group here and how active they are. I am looking into that. BTW I did cruise once and loved it but until Jim gets a kidney, it is not possible.
Post a Comment