So it is Monday, January 13 and I am back in Atlanta awaiting for the next step. Actually, i am waiting to hear from the radiologist about doing a biopsy before Thursday when i see the oncologist again.
It is quiet here at the house which is not a bad thing. i am watching my regular daytime shows on TV, I'v had a meal, coffee so I am satisfied in that area. I am just uneasy and antsy..
This waiting is the killer. Knowing that I have no control over what is to happen is a bitch. The prognosis I had on Friday was not what i was expecting or lead to believe by the previous players. This is much more complicated...definitely involves Chemo, whether solely or prior to surgery..I am ANGRY, SCARED and PISSED, and I miss being home...
I am really mad with Jim for leaving me like this..how long have I had this? I lost my life while I was busy caring for him and his needs...I may have noticed something sooner..instead of blaming it on stress and asthma...I did the same for Betty, I stayed home an cared for her while Jim lived his life as normally as possible...She is gone too...I was the chosen one to care for her and her little Dog while her granddaughters rarely saw her...But this is the Sanders way, I was told, we care for each other... that is so out of line with the reality..which is the opposite. I can show you on one hand the # of times during Betty's demise.
So now I just wait for more news and then maybe I can think about the future.
I am truly blessed and grateful for Gabe and Trin coming to my rescue...also to Zak and Tess for their encouragement and support.
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