I feel positive about having the biopsy done because the lesion seems to be small enough that even if it is malignant it will not be life threatening..
Preparing for Christmas has been a serious concern
At this point i am certainly leaning to the Atlanta option but I cannot make plans until I get these results..

Scheduled for a "Pet Scan" tomorrow with contrast to determine whether the mass is cancerous. Needless to say I am terrified but trying to remain objective.
I may have to undergo another Bronchostony on Friday but that will be determined by the results.
Yes, this time it really is all about me....
I finally took a shower and changed my clothes...must go to store for cat food and litter..and WINE.....
Then I am watching Homeland on demand and going to be early...have to be in Rehoboth by 7 AM..

OK, the chest exray showed that the mass was still there so i had a Bronschotomy done on Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving.
Fortunately for me , Gabe and Trin were in the vacinity attending a Memorial service for Ben and Barbara who died in a tragedy last week but that is another terrible story in our lives
I am so grateful that Gabe was here to drive me to the procedure.
It was performed under sedation a tube up my nose and into my chest. He was able to get some cell samples but not a biopsy because I had a nose bleed and i was choking.
SCARY stuff
Gabe made a seafood quiche for dinner, I spent time with Gustav and Greta on T day and they were able to visit my Bro and SIL as well as John and Molly..
So it is Saturday night..I must be insane because I just roasted an oven stuffer that has been on my freezer for months, hoping to peak Jim's appetite...
My way, I guess of making dinner for the family..maybe taking care of myself or just playing those old tapes..
Thanksgiving has some bitter sweet memories for me..There was the year that Zak and Gabe were forced to have dinner with Von"s family with Pork, mashed potatoes and corn, in the "club room" of his sisters home ..I was so ashamed about that because they were so disapponted
Then there was the Thanksgiving after Lou died, and Mom Mom was in the hospital. Gabe was with Amy then and we had her Father there for dinner..and Betty and Sue and David and kids..very sad...

Wednesday

I think I will get the chest x-ray done today so I will be sure that the Doc gets it by Friday.
I really haven't been out much since last week, but I need to pick up some prescriptions and back up cat food in case he wants to admit me again.
I feel better, more energetic and the coughing is becomming less frequent and more productive so I am taking that as a positive. Also spent a lot of time yesterday looking up infectious diseases like Legionnaires and Mercer and I know I am on the right course with the antibiotics if that proves to be the case
I've been such a couch potato but I don't want to exert myself even though I have a million things I should be doing.
I'm also debating whether or not to go to the luncheon tomorrow but I feel like I really need to get out of the house and see the "Girls".
One can only watch so much Dexter at one time...

The waiting Game

Got through the weekend by hanging out with the kitties and watching Dexter almost non stop. The pulmonologist reviewed the cat scan and didn't think the mass represented cancer, although that has not been ruled out.
He wanted to admit me to the hospital for IV antibiotics but I declined. This is one of the hardest things about being alone. I have to make arrangements for the cats etc. in advance. Instead he agreed to start me on oral antibiotics and I had blood and urine samples taken as an out patient at the hospital. I think he is looking for infectious diseases like Mercer and Legionnaires....God only knows what I have been exposed to this past year in my frequent hospital visits.
I see him again on Friday. Some time this week I need to have another chest x-ray. I also submitted a morning sputum sample to the lab on Saturday and was grateful to find a Beebe Express Lab closer to home that was open.
He expressed emphatically that if I started feeling worse to go to the ER but I am not in any pain or discomfort, just crackly when I breathe. The sputum is generally clear, not thick or discolored. I have no fever, chills or other ailments.
It has occurred to me that the first weekend in May, Jim and I went to our reunion in Baltimore and stayed at the hotel where the dinner was. The Monday after we returned, I became feverish and had a terrible cough and went to see my primary. She prescribed a narcotic cough syrup but was hesitant to give me antibiotics because of my exposure to the C dif that Jim was struggling with. Later in the week when it hadn't improved she did allow me to take a mild antibiotic....it could be that I had something that never fully went away...just sayin'
Sooo...I am trying very hard to stay in the moment and not project into the future. Limboland...

Well, the Cat scan did indeed show a mass in my right lung....seeing a pulmonologist on Friday and make plans for Bronchialostomy ( biopsy)
Very scary but am trying to take it in stride.
XXX L

Sunday November 10 Happy Birthday Marine Corps..

So the lasr few weeks I have really had no energy, feeling lethargic and not like going out a whole lot. All my exercise plans had been discarded and honestly, some days i didn't even feel like getting out of bed.
I had a dental appt on Tuesday, and when the hygienist commented on my wheezing I blamed it on my asthma, which has been terrible this year. But in the spirit of the comment, and trying not to be my Mother, I broke down and made an appt. to see my primary on Friday.
She too heard the popping in my chest, said my throat was red, found fluid behind none ear, and surmised that i probably have walking pneumonia which was confirmed by a chest xray on the spot.
Definitely pneumonia, so she prescribed a new inhaler, z pack of antibiotics and a CT scan on Monday which is scaring the crap out of me. She was concerned about a spot which was rather dense, could be infiltrates from the pneumonia(sp) or could be a mass.
Afer looking up the definition of Walking pneumonia, I realize that lack of energy is a key symptom so I feel justified in my laziness.
Since I have been on the antibiotic though, I slept through last night whith out wheezing or coughing so I hope that is all it is...