There is always something exciting about a New Year, a clean slate, a chance to "do-over" mistakes from the past.
I am one who spends too much time looking back instead of forward so I am going to erase all of those bad memories and focus on the future this year.
My ultimate goal is to get into the best shape I can and feel good about myself again.
I have been leading a "slipping down life" for the past few years and it has wreaked havoc on my confidence and self esteem. Some of this is not totally my doing, but it is my reaction to the events around me that is not acceptable.
I have a tendency to feel "lesser than" which is deeply instilled in my psyche.
There have been times in my life when I have overcome this, one as recently as 3 years ago. I had quit smoking, lost 25 lbs. then BAM....a broken femur. I took this as an omen that I was indeed helpless and just gave up.
On top of that, Jim went on the Renal diet which is in direct conflict with a healthy diet. And as silly as it sounds, I chipped my $3000 bridge which ruined my smile forever.
So the time has come for another attempt at caring about myself, eating well, moving more, and becoming the independent person I once was. Taking control of my life and become actionary, not reactionary.
When I achieve my goal of improving my image, I will start to see my friends from the past, who are always asking for me to visit.
I am also seeking to get involved in something outside of the house. Undecided on that move, but pondering possibilities.
Overcoming fear is another goal, fear of failure, rejection, success. You would think at this age that would be a mute point but not for me.
I have a lot of work to do
1 comment:
Leslie, just remember that that first step is the hardest, but it's the most crucial. It's all about behavior modification so after the first step, you take another and another and it becomes a way of life rather than an attempt.
I'm so proud of your bravery, and this more than anything will keep your soul young. I want Gustav to have his Mema in his life for a very long time and I want the 2 of you to take trips together alone when he's older so you can help us shape him into a good man.
But above all else, I just want you to joyful and fulfilled.
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