Ocean City Memories

When I was a teenager, I wanted to work in Ocean City for the summer in the worst way, but my parents were totally opposed to this notion. I was grateful that we vacationed for a week there, sometimes 2, with other families from our neighborhood who also had teenage kids. The grown ups would take turns driving us to the boardwalk in the evening, and picking us up around midnight.
Oh the excitement of the Ferris wheel,the Tilt a Whirl, the roller coaster.. exotic foods like Lombardi's pizza and Thrashers french fries with vinegar....Ernie's hot fresh glazed doughnuts, Fisher's Caramel corn, Kohl's frozen custard.....
At least one night during the week We would go to the Pier Ballroom which was a dance hall and where Buddy Deane and the Committee (the basis for Hairspray) performed occasionally, although never when we were there.
There were some really cute boys to dance with and fantasize about, romanticize about. Dancing to the Theme from "A Summer Place" was heavenly (I dreamed that I was Sandra Dee) and fast dancing to all those rock and roll songs was just plain fun. I fell in love many times over, every summer.
Then there were the endless games like Skee Ball, Pin ball, and the infamous Claw machine at which I became quite proficient. It only cost 5c and I won 30c packs of cigarettes about every 3rd try. Of course we all smoked while we were on the Boards because it was cool and so were we.
The problem was hiding the packs once we got back to our apartment, especially after I got busted when my Mom went through my laundry. The next batch I hid in a hedge outside.
After a few years, this group stopped going on vacation together.
There was a hiatus.
My Best girlfriend at the time Mary Ellen and I were desperate to go "Downy Ocean Hon" (a true Bawlamer saying) and somehow talked my Mom into meeting with her Mom (who drove a very cool 1957 Chevy Impala Convertible) and planned a mini trip, just 3 or 4 days. By this time some of my friends were actually living in O.C.working and sharing apartments.
The first summer went well, so the next year we decided to rent a place for a week.
You have to remember that there was no Internet, just brochures and a telephone. Also, Aunt Nellie was joining us, one of M.E's crazy relatives.
We rented unseen a tiny little house with no closets but Mary Ellen and I were in heaven. We ran off every day and night to hang out with our friends. My boyfriend Paul was working in a restaurant and spent the night with us once. My Mother made us keep the light on all night.
One morning she was in tears. We were sleeping late and she wanted us to go to the beach with her. ME's Mother and Aunt Nellie were still in bed after a big night.
My Mom liked to party but they were way out of her league, and in a trashy way. They would sit in the Irish House, a landmark bar on the boards which is now long gone, and get a load on, then walk down the boardwalk and try to get a "Hootenanny" going, sort of a jam session in the folk music days. They even bought kazoos and tambourines at the 10c store and were making quite a spectacle of themselves, stopping people along the way to join up with them.
My Mother was MORTIFIED, to say the least.
I don't exactly remember what happened next, but somehow Aunt Nellie left Ocean City in a cab and went back home to Lutherville MD. a 170 mile trip. Nice fare.
We finished out the week, went to the beach together, sometimes with Paul, and came home tan, happy and exhausted.
I guess I don't have to say that we never tried to vacation together again, and that I was forbidden to mention any thing to my Father about the trip.

I am dead tired after helping Gabe and Trin fix up the house in Baltimore. It wasn't my idea of Labor Day Weekend, but I was glad to be useful in my limited capacity.
It was also a great opportunity to spend time together, see Goose and later hook up with the family. The Pizza, Steamed Shrimp. salad. fruit and cheese buffet was a huge hit, followed by a practice birthday cake for Goose.
It was fun to see Ben and talking to John, Rob and Shannon, and hearing stories about how their lives are going. The conversation was so much more stimulating than the dinner talk we had with our friends last night.
I really am starting to feel like I am from another planet. I like to hear and discuss books, movies, current events, not Judge Hatchett and Peoples Court. Anytime I began a topic, it was immediately brushed off by something more important like how beautiful the dog is and how smart and how many toys she finds on walks.
Maybe I am just being paranoid but it feels like I have nothing in common with our old friends. It seems they were not interested in any thing I had to add.
I finally just went to bed because I was bored and tired of drinking

I wonder why I still get the Back to School Blues?
It's the end of August and the shadows are growing longer as the Sun shifts slowly away from me.
The temperature has suddenly dropped into the 70's, and the Sunday paper has nothing but "Back to school" ads.
As a kid I absolutely hated this time of year, even though it meant seeing friends again and meeting new people. I was the end of summer, of running barefoot and playing hide and seek until the street lights came on, sleeping in and reading only for pleasure, playing Monopoly and Scrabble on a big screened in porch.
As a teenager It was even more stressful, all of the Jr. and Sr. High school angst with dating, and wearing the right clothes, having the perfect body, mixing with the IN crowd, Not to mention the challenge of the Academics and trying to concentrate with all of these other distractions.
As a young Mother, it was a blessing. After a long summer, it was a relief to have structure again, especially when I was working full time.
Then came the Boarding school years and College and after the initial excitement wore off, and as my boys grew into men,the feeling of sadness started creeping back in little by little, year after year.
It was a sense of loss, a harbinger of days to come with separation being the status quo.
Now everyone is grown and married, and too far away to drop by for dinner.
I heard the little yellow school bus drove by this morning and before I even opened my eyes, I knew it was once again that dreaded time of year.

If only you got to know me, you'd be sorry for all the missed opportunities we had to share our hopes and fears .
If only you tried to know me, you would see how funny I can be, witty and compassionate, and what a strong shoulder I have to cry on.
If you even made an effort to know me you would see what a loyal friend I am and a worthy companion to spend time with.
If only you knew me you would know that my heart is as wide as the sea, and as open, but fragile and easily broken,
If you really knew me you would be aware of the hardships I have survived, the courage I have had to muster and the accomplishments I have acheived.
If only....... you wanted to......

Changing My Life

Another Monday in Paradise.

I promised myself that I would start making changes in my life starting today. There are so many things wrong, it's hard to pick a starting point. Here are my thoughts.

# 1 Lose weight,

Options, obviously dieting, weight watchers?, Alli? Acai?

#2 Exercise...swimming is great but I can't stand up in the surf or get up if I fall

Nag Jim into putting our pool up. Try to use this thing Jim bought for me that you kneel on, with my 2 bad knees ????

#3 Read more..well I started Julie and Julia last night and actually digested 50 pages, and I was really sleepy...I love it

#4 Continue disposing of accumulated items that are no longer of service. Luckily, we have Goodwill Store nearby

#5 Find something outside of the house to do ie work, take a course at Del Tech., volunteer.
I need to meet new people and start living my life and spending time with someone with similar interests. I want my independence back.

Gotta go, busy day

Reading Trin's blog about her hectic schedule, provoked some thoughts and memories of my own. It was difficult being a single Mom of a 6 and 7 year old boy in the 70's.

When I first started to work , I had to make many changes in our routine.

I worked until 4 , they got home by 3:30

I asked one of the Mom's in the car pool, who lived right down our street , if she could keep an eye on them until I got home. They all played together in the alley anyway, but apparently she resented this and just before the Christmas break she dropped us from the car pool which created another crisis for me. It's amazing how little things become larger than life when you are alone and having to make all the decisions.

I did find another one which wasn't easy as the kids went to a small school on the campus of Towson State and everyone did not live in our neighborhood. I did get them involved in some after school activities when they were available.

My schedule became Monday-Friday 9-5, supervising the floor staff and hostessing. On Tuesday , Wednesdays and Fridays I changed into my uniform like Superman and waitressed for the much needed money.

This is when I relied heavily on my Parents for help, and I am forever grateful for their assistance. My Dad was recently retired, so he was able to pick them up from school and take them home where they spent the night and drove them back in the morning. I credit my parents with providing the stability they needed at this crucial time in their lives, and also their love of Mom Mom's creamy corn and homemade mac and cheese

Once they were a little older, I found other ways to manage. They could ride the transit bus straight down York Rd, to Northern Pkwy, and walk the 1/2 mile home. They were latch key kids, but were trustworthy and responsible so I didn't worry, plus my job was 10 minutes away.
At one point I also had a co worker/ college student move into the basement and as part of our agreement, she agreed to fix dinner and stay with them on the nights that I worked. That only lasted a few months, but it helped at the time. They were getting tired of shuffling back and forth to Mom Mom's.

Then there were the other activities that boys need to get into, Soccer and Little league, I wasn't always able to transport them to these events but somehow we managed.

As it became increasingly rare when their Dad showed up, I looked into Boy Scouts as a place for a strong male role model. Did I ever luck out with Troop 35. I had 2 busboys who worked with me who were both 17 and still in the scouts, and they were cool, hip kids. That was a huge part of our lives for 8 years and both sons made Eagle.
I can't help believe that the responsibilities they assumed as kids, have made them into the solid individuals they are today.

We just returned from an overnight trip to visit George and Phyllis, 2 of Jim's oldest Friends and now mine as well.
This on the heels of last weekend with Tom and Martha at our house for the weekend, who are likewise closer to Jim than I, even though I have known George and Tommy longer than Jim has from High school.
Everyone is now in his mid 60 's so things have slowed down a bit, Thank God!!.
The 3 men still got falling down drunk up until a few years ago, forgetting that they weren't 30 or even 40 any more. There were many late night " discussions/arguments", forgotten in the morning over coffee and serious hangovers.....Warriors all.... Boys to the end!!
The dynamics have changed dramatically. Jim now has renal failure, and cannot drink .Tom has also had health issues, 2 heart attacks and bypass surgery, obesity and bad legs. George seems to be doing well despite a broken ankle a few years back, and a benign growth that was removed from his colon prior to that.
The ladies have fared better. Phyllis retired from BCBS several years ago and since she and George never had children, she had a long career, accumulating a substantial retirement package.
They purchased a 5th wheel, and a big truck, and now winter in Florida and summer at home.
They made some good investments , even though they are at a low point now, but live quite comfortably on social security and her pension.
Tom and Martha are another story. Martha had one child when she married Tom, and then produced two more. Everyone is grown and gone but not too far away that they don't visit often. Phyllis and George are God parents to all of them.
Tom has made some bad business choices in the past which have followed them through life. He is currently working for a very good friend in Balto, and commutes home to PA on weekends. Yet they have somehow managed to find the resources to suddenly travel a lot, to Upper state NY, Nags head, The Florida Keys and even Hawaii all in the past year,. I must confess I am jealous given our situation in regards to dialysis, health care expenses and such. It doesn't seem fair somehow.
Everyone is coping with aging and retirement in their own way. I feel like we are in Limbo, waiting for Jim to find a kidney and move on. I don't want a 5Th wheel , Retiring in Fla doesn't appeal to me at all, but I would like to enjoy the last years my life, seeing new things and places.